Tickling Death
by Rose Thorne
Summary: Just a cute little fic. Hiei comforts Kaori and me by being our torture doll. Self insertation. R for language and sexual innuendos. SHONEN AI. Rewritten to conform to new rules. Plagiarism of this or any other of my fanfics will not be tolerated.


Tickling Death

By Rose Thorne and Youko Kitsune/Thesbian Soldier

~~STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY!!~~

* * *

Kaori sighed heavily, prompting Rose to glance at her curiously. "What's up?"

The girl sighed. "Fanfiction.net seems to be down again . . . I can't update my fanfiction."

Rose frowned. "That sucks . . . I had chapter nine of Flux to put up . . ." She sighed. "Guess it'll have to wait. Cheer up. We won't have to wait for long. Xing tends to be good about stuff like that."

Kaori frowned. "I'll _try_ . . ." She sighed again. "My poor unmothered fanfiction . . . It's going to need lots of loving after this . . ."

Rose giggled. "Kinda like Hiei when Kuwa-chan flirts with Yukina?"

Kaori perked up, then pulled Hiei from . . . somewhere and glomped him. "Comfort me." Hiei bludgeoned the fic writer, squirming frantically to get out of her grasp, then glaring at her from ten feet away, breathing a bit heavily. "Or don't." The girl sniffled a bit. "I always knew he hated me," she muttered, sulking.

Rose pulled a Hiei plushie out and gave it to her upset friend. "Cheer up. Hiei's always like that, remember. He's Mister Anti-Social." Hiei snarled at her, and she ignored it.

"Yay!" Kaori glomped the plushie happily.

Hiei groaned, annoyed. He'd been napping in his favorite tree, when he'd suddenly been grabbed and pulled here . . . wherever 'here' was . . . "You had to go and do that, didn't you?" He scowled at the brunette angrily. This wasn't the first time he'd encountered her. He remembered the pudding incident all too well. Though . . . it had led to some interesting things that had altered his relationship with Kurama. _How the hell does it work that I'm actually grateful to her for dunking me in a swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding??_ He was relieved to see that none of the other girls were there, especially the one who had used him as a beanbag.

Rose glowered at him, unaware of his musings. "Want to play substitute?" Her voice was threatening.

Crimson eyes widened to an almost impossible circumference. "NO!!"

Kaori smirked. "Yes, you do! You'd _looooove_ to play substitute, wouldn't he, Bara-chan?"

Rose grinned and pointed at Hiei, who immediately became a substitute for the plushie. "Wards are _so_ much fun . . ."

"Arigatou!!" Kaori grinned at Rose gratefully and glomped a struggling Hiei even harder. "Now you'll never get away!" 

The fire demon looked downright pathetic at that point. He scowled and gave up, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to get away until Rose was good and ready to let him. He figured he could endure a bit of humiliation. At least, he thought so until Rose snickered and said a phrase that was too evil to comprehend. "Wanna find out if he's ticklish?"

Kaori smirked. "I do believe that would be interesting. In the name of science, of course."

Rose grinned evilly. "'Are Bad-Tempered Koorime Firebabies Ticklish,' a scientific experiment by Rose Thorne and Kaori." Hiei looked like he wanted to curl up in a hole and die. Rose's grin widened. "Hypothesis: Hell, yes!"

Kaori schooled her face into a thoughtful expression. "Now . . . where would a bad-tempered Koorime firebaby be ticklish . . .?" Rose began to giggle as her thoughts led her down a rather hentai path, turning purple after a few minutes. Kaori quirked an eyebrow at her friend. "Spill it, chick."

Rose coughed, regaining control and holding her aching stomach. "Erm . . . I was thinking below the belt . . ." Her friend began to giggle, and Hiei paled considerably at the announcement. Rose smirked, and the fire demon decided it was time to see if he could break Kaori's hold on him. That is, if Rose would _let_ him break Kaori's hold on him. The brunette grinned. "Nothing doing, Hiei-chan. And you're warded, so you can't use ki to get out of this either."

Kaori grinned, regaining control of her breathing. "Tickle, tickle . . ." The words were said in a creepy sing-song voice that made the hair on the back of Hiei's neck stand on end. The girl smirked at him.

Rose giggled a bit as Hiei's eyes widened even more. "Teasing him is _so_ much fun . . ."

Hiei's eyes narrowed, and he gave the girls a glare that would blister paint. "Let me go before I call Kurama . . ."

The fire demon blinked as Rose chuckled, unfazed by the threat. "We'll call him for you. Bet he'd tickle you himself . . ."

Kaori frowned, looking slightly jealous. "Ahem . . . Yes, well . . ."

Rose continued with a smirk. "Of course, who wants to share? He gets quite enough of you as it is, doesn't he?" She leered at him suggestively.

"Hn!" Hiei couldn't prevent his face from going pink.

Rose blinked, scrutinizing the fire demon. "Is that a _blush_?!" She glanced at Kaori, who still had Hiei locked in her arms. "D'ya think the rumors are true then?"

Her fellow fic writer blinked at her. "Er . . . What rumors?"

The brunette grinned. "That Hiei and Kurama are . . . well . . . _intimate_." Hiei's face turned a shade darker at the emphasis on 'intimate,' which made Rose giggle. Well, until Kaori frowned and muttered under her breath. She blinked, confused. "What?"

Kaori drew herself up in a dignified sort of way. "Well, if they are . . ." She paused. "Ahem . . . Never mind."

Hiei's face turned even redder at that. "There is nothing between Kurama and I!" he hissed.

"I don't believe you," Kaori pronounced indignantly, still glomping him.

Rose smirked at the blushing fire demon. "Would you prefer to call him Kura-chan or Rama-chan (1)?"

Hiei scowled at the fic writer. "Shut up, onna (2)."

"Be nice!" Kaori tickled him as punishment. She grinned like a lunatic as Hiei let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a strangled giggle.

Rose's eyes widened with glee. "So he _is_ ticklish!"

Kaori continued to tickle the fire demon. "So what was that again, Hi-kun?" The fire demon quickly realized that trying to suppress his laughter was going to hurt more than if he didn't bother. Kaori grinned. "Never would have suspected that the 'almighty one' would be subdued by tickles, ne Bara-chan?"

"Nope! Our hypothesis that bad-tempered Koorime firebabies are ticklish has now been proved true. The wielder of the Kokoryuuha could be defeated by a well-used feather . . ."

"Not a bad idea . . ." Kaori grinned and pulled a feather out of hammerspace. "Would you care to do the honors?"

Rose pulled out her own feather. "Together, methinks?"

Kaori grinned and chained a now-struggling Hiei to a conveniently materialized wall, then pulled off his boots to provide access to the bottoms of his feet. "My arms were getting tired." She shrugged and held up her feather. "All for one?"

"And one for all!" Rose touched her feather to Kaori's, and they turned as one toward Hiei, holding their feathers in an 'en guarde' position. They stepped forward and attacked. The fire demon's attempt to glower murderously was foiled by his fit of involuntary giggles. Rose grinned, still tickling him. "Awww . . . He looks so kawaii!" Kaori nodded, giggling, and pinched his cheek. Hiei turned an interesting shade of purple.

The two were so intent upon their victim . . . er . . . test subject that they didn't notice a certain red-haired bishounen standing behind them until he cleared his throat. Kaori looked up, startled. "Uh . . . Hi?"

Rose grinned, putting on the most innocent expression she could muster. "Hi Kurama-kun! Just having a bit of fun, ne Hiei-chan?"

Hiei glowered at her, too out-of-breath to speak for a few moments. "Fun? _FUN?!_" His voice had a slightly hysterical edge to it, and he looked as if he were about ready to explode with fury, which he may very well have done right there on the spot if he hadn't been warded. "_YOU CALL THIS 'FUN'?!_"

Kaori's eyes widened at the outburst. "Wow . . . Didn't expect _that_ big of a reaction . . ."

Rose blinked. "I think we wounded his pride . . . That's not a good thing . . ." She giggled nervously as Kurama stepped forward. Kaori quickly hid her feather, laughing nervously. Rose followed suit, but not quickly enough.

Kurama frowned, his face dangerously emotionless. "You were tickling him." It wasn't a question.

"Us? Never!" Kaori attempted an innocent look and failed miserably.

Hiei had calmed a bit at by this point, but his eyes were still smoldering with a promise of pain. "Liar." His voice was low and dangerously calm, making both girls wince.

Kurama's frown deepened. "Tickling Hiei is my privilege and my privilege alone."

Kaori, not caring that she was treading on thin ice, struck a jealous pose, her eye twitching. "Really? Is _that_ so?" Her voice was sarcastic and more than a little challenging.

At the same time, Rose's eyes widened. "Privilege? You mean . . .?"

Kurama glowered at them. "Yes, my _privilege_," he asserted, thus answering both questions at once.

Hiei groaned, realizing that in order to feasibly be able to kill his ticklers, he would now have to kill Kurama as well. _That_ took the fight out of him. "Great . . . Juuust great . . ." He couldn't stop himself from blushing as his traitorous mind reminded him of just what Kurama's privileges entailed.

Rose grinned as she saw Hiei's cheeks go red. "Awwww . . . Ickle Hiei is bwushing! Wonder what _he's_ thinking about." She paused with a smirk. "Actually . . . I don't have to wonder . . ." Hiei glared at her, his blush deepening.

Kaori, on the other hand, began to storm off, looking rather flustered. "Hmph!"

Rose blinked at her friend. "Oh, come _on_! You knew it was true!"

The girl glared. "SO??" She snapped her fingers and the chains vanished, allowing Hiei to fall to the floor gently. The fire demon sighed in relief. Hiei's eyes widened as Kurama put a possessive arm around his slim waist.

Rose mock-frowned at Kurama. "Lucky bastard! (3)"

Kurama smirked. "Don't I know it." Hiei's face turned crimson, nearly matching his eyes.

Kaori shot Kurama a pathetic puppy-dog look. "Would you be interested in sharing?"

Kurama chuckled, all signs of his previous anger toward the two who kidnapped _his_ fire demon gone. "Sorry. I'm selfish." He leered at Hiei. "_Especially_ when it comes to him." Hiei looked like he was torn between dying of embarrassment and being extremely flattered.

"No fair!" Kaori sniffled. "All the good, cute guys are gay or taken." She blinked. "Or both, in Hiei's case . . ." She grinned as Hiei shot her a dirty look. "Save those for Kurama, firebaby." Said firebaby hissed at her.

A bed appeared in a corner, covered with satin sheets. Kurama smirked. "He doesn't need them with me."

Kaori blinked, her eyes widening. "I foresee something interesting in the near future . . . Er . . . Actually, it seems to be censored." She seemed to be puzzled by this. "Ah, well. You guys deserve at least _some_ privacy."

Kurama grinned. "Thank you. Hiei decided to spend a few weeks in the Makai and I've been waiting for him . . ." He began petting Hiei's hair, massaging the fire demon's scalp. The firebaby's eyes glazed over with pleasure, and he began to purr, sagging comfortably in Kurama's arms.

Rose blushed. "I think they're going to need that privacy, Kaori-chan . . ."

Kaori looked thoughtful. "Hm . . . Do I want to stick around for this . . .?" She pondered the question for a few moments, then blushed at the fact that she was even considering it. She sent her friend a Look and bowed toward the door. "Methinks you're right. After you."

Rose shook her head. "No, after you."

"Oh, no . . . After _you_ . . ."

The brunette raise an eyebrow. "Together?"

Kurama cleared his throat impatiently and removed his hand from Hiei's hair, pointing at the door. "Just _go_!" Hiei made a sound of protest over Kurama's ceased ministrations, and the fox grinned and resumed petting his lover's hair.

Kaori rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay! Seesh! Demanding fox!" She and Rose went through the door together, leaving Kurama and Hiei to . . . well . . . do whatever.

~Owari~

* * *

This was the result of a semi-late night conversation when we were both sick. Sucks to be us, ne? Wonder if Hiei-chan will catch our colds . . . He was awfully . . . close . . . to us . . . Hope not. Kurama might be really pissed if that happened.

This fic has been revised to meet fanfiction.net's new standards. I actually like this version better. Thank you, Xing, for making me rewrite it!

Notes:  
(1) Couldn't help myself. This is an alteration of something that Kurama said to Yuusuke in Talya Firedancer's 'Abort, Retry, Ignore?' It was originally said about the censored kissing scene in episode five between Yuusuke and Kuwabara (which FUNimation _actually_ kept! *gasp*), but we had fun with it.

(2) Onna means female. Onnano hito means woman. Onna is rather disrespectful when you use it to refer to a person. I guess it's like calling someone a woman derogatively. Sort of the equivalent of 'bitch.'

(3) Considering that I have Hikari (and vice versa), Kurama can _have_ Hiei. *cuddles Hikari-itooshi*


End file.
